The death of basketball icon Kobe Bryant and eight others in a helicopter crash may bring up difficult questions from children about death. Valerie’s House, a Southwest Florida organization focused solely on helping children grieve, offers tips on the best ways to approach a conversation about grief and loss with a child.
Special to SW FL Parent & Child
Amy Strom
“It is normal for humans to grieve the loss of a celebrity or athlete such as Bryant,” says Valerie’s House Program Director Amy Strom, a licensed clinical social worker with a master's in education. “Children and adults often create connections with celebrities by idolizing them or viewing them as mentors.”
Strom suggests having an open conversation with a child, while keeping in mind their developmental stage and level of understanding. Strom says experiencing feelings of grief after a connection is lost is normal, even if the grief is related to a person you never met. She provides the following suggestions for talking to a child about death.
Identify a child’s level of understanding
- Ask the child what they understand about death or grief.
- A younger child may not understand the permanence of death.
- Be sure to let them know they can speak openly with you and you’re there to answer their questions the best you can.
- Use language and content that is appropriate for your child.
Validate their feelings, without invoking anxiety or fear.
- Acknowledge that whatever they are feeling is OK, whether it be sadness or worry or shock.
- Oftentimes knowledge is power. The more knowledge you provide, the less your child will “fill in the blanks” with their imagination.
- If a child expresses fear of losing someone close to them, reassure them that mom or dad take safety precautions or maintain a healthy lifestyle, such as buckling up when traveling or eating healthy and exercising.
For more resources about children’s grief or to refer a child who may be grieving, visit valerieshouseswfl.org or call 239-204-5804.