Ode to the Snack Mom

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I have never been the class mom. I am rarely on time to school events. I often forget about them until the night before.I don’t bake. I can’t craft. I usually opt out of the school fund-raiser if at all possible. I’m like a fish out of water when it comes to PTA meetings and school functions.

I was so uncomfortable at my kids’ school play a few years back that I considered getting up and walking out. I hate interpretive dance, and there was a scene in the play where this kid was turning into a butterfly, and I was ready to lose my s---. As a logical adult, I knew I couldn’t get up and leave, but every fiber of my being wanted to run for the hills.

Back to my point. I am no June Cleaver. Clearly. However, I want to thank all of the PTA and crafty moms (the moms who truly love to create these magical items for their children’s classes, and aren’t the judgy Susans of the world who just want to stick it to us) out there who sign up to bring the baked goods and make the papier-mâché dragons for the school play. You make it possible for me to sign up for the napkins and feel like I am making somewhat of a contribution, no matter how small. We need you! Our kids need you! You are amazing and I truly want to say thank you!

When I was in the trenches of parenting, when my kids were much younger, I used to resent these moms. I would snicker as I saw them bring in the homemade cupcakes. I would doubt myself and worry I wasn’t a good enough mom.I would play that awful comparison game. The game you never,ever win. I would sign up for napkins, but bring in those napkins with a hot, fresh side of spite. I was dropping off my kids at day care one morning when a mom came in with the Halloween cupcakes for the class. I opened the door for her and immediately felt shame as I held my pack of napkins. She smiled at me and I said, “Nice cupcakes.” She smiled back and said that she had been up all night because she burned one batch and dropped another on the floor.She wanted to surprise her daughter with these cupcakes, but they had almost broken her spirit. I was shocked. She wasn’t making the cupcakes to stick it to me. She was simply being the best mom that she could be.

I realize now that I was wrong to judge the moms who nailed it with their classroom volunteer hours and perfectly crafted nutritious and allergy-friendly treats. You gave me the opportunity to be the mom who I am. I am Napkin Mom and I am really proud of that. I know it might seem like a small part to play, but it is the part that I am best suited for.Also, kids spill a ton of s--- and we need lots of napkins to clean up their messes. We are all good at something, but if you’ve seen me bake, clearly, I’m not good at everything. No one is. So why as moms do we assume we will be good at all of the parts of motherhood? Because we play the comparison game until we want to run away or hit Susan’s car with a bat.Luckily, I learned that being Napkin Mom is perfect for me.So, thank you to every mom who does what she is good at so Napkin Moms have a seat at the table.

An excerpt from Meredith Masony’s new book, "Ask Me What’s for Dinner One More Time: Inappropriate Thoughts on Motherhood." Copyright © 2020 by Inside the Bowl Productions, LLC. Reprinted by permission of Gallery Books, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

Meredith Masony is a Florida mom of three children and the creator of the blog That’s Inappropriate, where she gets real about being a mom and has a community of followers 4 million strong. She’s been on Today, GoodMorningAmerica.com and more. Born in Port Charlotte, she now lives in Jacksonville.